Sula - part deux

"Sula, like always, was incapable of making any but the most trivial decisions. When it came to matter of grave importance, she behaved emotionally and irresponsibly and left it to others to straighten out. And when fear struck her, she did unbelievable things. Like that time with her finger. Whatever those hunkies did, it wouldn't have been as bad as what she did to ehrself. But Sula was so scared she had mutilated herself, to protect herself" (101).

This passage stood out to me because in my previous post, I felt that Sula did not have any feelings for other people. I thought she was almost sociopathic in her actions, disregrding how it would affect others emotionally or physically. But this passage changed my mind. I think this passage really addresses how Sula interacts with other people and it explains her actions. She is emotionally unstable and to protect herself from everyone who could possibly hurt her, she hurts herself first. She does not get attached to the men she sleeps with, she does not care what anyone in town (even her own family) thinks of her, and she has no problem hurting the people who care for her (i.e. Nel). I thought this passage not only helped to explain Sula's actions, but her character in general. She grew up with a mother who loved her, but did not like her and slept with several men without having meaningful relationships with them. A grandmother who cared for her children, but burned her own son to death. I think her relationships as a young girl taught her to do what she had to to get whatever it is she wanted, even if it meant hurting somebody else. And I found it interesting that in order to protect herself, she would hurt herself before somebody else could.
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"Ajax blinked. Then he looked swiftly into her face. In her words, in her voice, was a sound he knew well. For the first time he saw the green ribbon. He looked around and saw the gleaming kitchen and the table set for two and detected the scent of the nest. Every hackle on his body rose, and he knew that very soon she would, like all of her sisters before her, put to him the death-knell question 'Where you been?' His eyes dimmed with a mild and momentary regret" (133).

This passage made me quite sad. For the first time in her life, Sula opened herself to the possibility of a relationship. I felt like she genuinely loved Ajax and insead of reciprocating those feelings, he became disappointed and left. I don't necessarily feel bad for Sula, considering she slept with her best friend's husband, and I feel like finding and losing Ajax was her karma. In that moment, I could feel the disappointment that she would feel once he left. I think this was the last straw for Sula, that she had been able to avoid being hurt for so long that when she finally loved and got screwed over, it was too much to take. Sula's life was not necessarily the best, by any means, but she didn't try to make it any better. It was sad that when Ajax left her, she withered away and died. I think it was all of those years of avoiding pain that caught up with her when the first person she truly cared for, other than Nel, left her to die.